Cracked Perfection
by wolvesandwaffles
Summary: She is flawed and lonely. He is broken and dying. But as it all comes crashing down, she can't help but think he's a cracked perfection. Cassian/Jyn Rebelcaptain MAJOR SPOILERS for Rogue One


The words in quotations and italics are part of a poem by Clementine von Radics. My story was not inspired by her work, but I thought it fit nicely. Plus I just love Clementine von Radics :)

 _p.s. Am I the only person who thought Cassian was extremely hot and wants to marry Diego Luna?_

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 **cracked perfection**

 _"We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin."_

As the darkness of the elevator envelopes her, Jyn tries to find reconciliation. But she can barely even think. There's only one thing that makes sense anymore.

 _Cassian._

 _"Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we'd given up on asking love to come."_

She turns to look at him, everything else fading to the background. His rugged face is marked with bruises and scratches. They both know they'll never get the chance to heal, painfully aware of the wound in his chest. Nonetheless, she still thinks he looks handsome. No, he is more than handsome... She finds herself leaning in to him. He dips his head forward as well, and this is the closest she's ever been to a person. They lock eyes. His gaze is so intense, and she cannot look away. Yet some part of her is still not satisfied. She longs to close what little distance is left, have him capture her lips like he's done with her heart. She wants his fingers to get tangled in her hair and for hers to trace the stubble on his face. If only she could hold him like he's the only thing left, because in her world, he is. But this moment is a sacred space of shared breaths; she dares not destroy it. Still, every time the dim light flickers on, she finds her face inching just a little bit closer.

 _"I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal."_

The elevator finally stops, and they both inhale sharply. Their eyes close simultaneously, savoring the darkness and the silence. As if they're afraid of the sun with all of its light, they hesitate in the hope that it will all fade. Then the doors open, and reality comes back to them. Her eyes flutter open and she sneaks one last look at him, losing herself in the process. Then he opens his eyes and they exit together.

 _"I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I_ _'m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book."_

Arms wrapped around each other, they straggle to the beach. It's impossible to tell who's supporting who, but she figures it won't ever matter. As they sink to the sand, she keeps her hand on him. So long as he's here, she's still sane. She glances at the horizon. The warmth creeping closer is nothing compared to the burning she feels in her heart as she looks at him again. He turns too, as if sensing her gaze. Once more she wants to pull him close, forgetting everything else. And she almost does. But when she looks into his eyes, she is trapped by something she sees there. In their last moments, it's impossible to hide anything. His face is unguarded, raw and filled with emotions she couldn't name if she tried. The way his eyes linger on her face suggests he wants the same as her, but they're both frozen, halfway between so many things. Even as she starts to lean closer, she remembers how he almost killed her father. She is sure that in another world, with more time to heal, she would not hesitate to embrace him. But they're out of time. And yet, maybe this longing is because of the inevitable end. Maybe their lack of time has helped her realize how much she needs him, even when the world tried to force them apart. Maybe it's this godforsaken island, with outcasts and imperials, rebels and renegades, everyone under the sun becoming just a little lost. Maybe he's what she's been searching for this whole time.

 _"I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you."_

His vulnerability is so breathtaking, his eyes saying more than his words or his mouth ever could. Everything is here, no matter how silent they are. And yet, they don't do it. There's too much fear, too little time. Anyways, just his being there beside her is enough. Their hands find their way to each other. He whispers, "Your father would be proud," and then she thinks she is finally starting to heal. Yes, in another lifetime, they could be happy. She knows it. She searches his face, committing everything to memory. Then she reaches for his shoulders and holds on tightly. They cling to each other, here at the end of the world.

 _"And I will not be afraid of your scars."_

She has seen her mother die with her own eyes. Her father also had his life stolen while his daughter could only watch on. Even the man who started it all, his fate has been seen fulfilled. So one last time, she stares into oblivion with her eyes wide open. She keeps her focus on the fireball lighting the sky, and something flutters in her heart. She doesn't know what it is; only that she feels less alone. Cassian's breathing is labored, but the sound reminds Jyn that this time, she will face death in his embrace. And in the end, a small smile somehow finds itself lingering on her virgin lips.


End file.
